The Poet’s Thumb irregular election diary

Tuesday 8^th February 2011

Bryan Dobson has been tweeting some Election Zen from FG’s press conference this morning (spelling and grammar all Bryan’s):

• At FG presser - Enda to discuss public service reform - strangely, he's doing it outside the FG HQ - will we hear him above traffic noise?
• Asked FG handler why we're outside the HQ for presser with Enda K. Said they want to change the optics and "won't keep you too long".
• Do cold hacks ask fewer questions?
• FG news conf. Passer by shouts "go on Enda"
• Enda can;'t be heard - we gathering closer!
• Enda K says FG committed to protectiion of frontline public services.
• Enda K will seek 30,000 reduction in public service staff numbers
• Someone in a chicken suit has just arrived at the FG news conference - one of the hazzards of holding it outside
• Richard Bruton is now trying to be heard above the traffic.
• Enda K says job cuts can be achieved on a voluntary basis
• Enda K public service job reductions could cost around a billion euro
• Enda K says the money would be borrowed
• It gets better! Enda is now posing with a group of frontline workers - a teacher, a guard, a nurse, a doctor - the chicken has is ejected
• To clarify - I believe the frontline "workers" at the FG event are actors
• FG say 30,000 reduction in public service numbers will yield savings of E10b over 5 yrs at possible cost of E800m to E1bn
• FG news conf - the "chicken" was from the Sun newspaper. And yes, he did cross the road.

Wednesday 9^th February 2011 

The Great Debate (#tv3ld)

Vs.Vs.

Who won? You decide.

Monday 14^th February 2011  

Dear oh dear oh dear oh dear but I am finding this election a wee bit dull. Even as I pull my election anorak on over my political anorak, and weigh up yesterday’s Red C poll findings I’m still looking for that moment that defines an election. You know the sort of thing involving ladders and lampposts and on-street arguments and the like. The kind of thing that might sway against an overall majority...

Never mind though. Micheál Martin has stepped in to keep us all entertained with his Chinese impressions. Once again, the election revives a craggy island moment.

In my own neighbourhood I have watched as residents stare out the windows pining in vain for the knock on the door of a baby-kissing, handshaking candidate on the trail. Alas, only one has called, and he was from the greens. Most of the doors remained shut. Anyway, the Irish Times have prepared a cribsheet for when canvassers call, ever the optimists.

Tuesday 15^th February 2011

The Kraftwerk Debate

The Star called it for Enda Kenny, while the old lady insists there was no clear winner. I beg to differ. I think the real winner of the debate was the fourth estate, and the legions of Twitterati who got to shout at the telly.

For the hacks there was lots of copy generating TV without having to leave the sofa. You could even knock out a couple of hundred words on the fact that John Gormley wore a (borrowed) blue tie while the rest wore red. Plus, you get to say things like 'By not losing, Enda won.’ All party faithful emerge thinking their man did fine, while swing voters are left to ponder the significance of body language, bon mots and 'knock-out blows.’*

I even heard Noirin Hegarty this morning declare Gerry Adams the ‘alpha male’ of the debate. That might go some way toward explaining why he’s got Enda in a bear hug in that IT photo. He gave a playful hug to Michael Martin at the end too, good old locker room stuff. Never had Gerry down as a hugger…

The last word to Fintan O’Toole, who tweeted this about 45 minutes into the debate: “This is all strangely lacking in urgency. You'd never know this country was in the biggest crisis in the history of the State.”

*Last night’s favourite cliché ©Anne Doyle RTE Nine News.

Wednesday 16^th February 2011

A visualisation exercise*.

I want you to picture grey rolling clouds rolling toward you across a post apocalyptic landscape. You're in your bare feet on a field of concrete and broken glass. You haven't eaten for a few days, nor have you washed. There are no humans, just a few mangy dogs sniffing around. There's a splinter of dust lodged in your eye causing you to weep with discomfort. You have an aching tooth in your lower jaw. There is a howling wind and a car alarm blaring. All hope is lost. All is dust, pain, loss and foreboding.

This isn’t Ireland after Jedward at Eurovision (although we may endure a more punishing rate of interest from the EU/IMF as a result of their entry so you can’t rule it out).

This isn’t Mullingar after a Crystal Swing concert.

This is Ireland under a Fine Gael overall majority*.

Thursday 17^th February 2011

Ned O’Keefe provided this moment of paranoid rhetoric. While it might be beyond parody, it did remind me of this – Fianna Fáil, The Anarchist Party.

Perhaps most compelling election moment I’ve heard about in the last 24 hours is the experience a colleague in Cork. She met Simon Coveney last Friday, and engaged him in a discussion about the consequences of job losses in the public sector. Jackie was treated to a haranguing lecture from Simon. I can only guess at its ferocity, but he felt compelled to tweet this confessional later the same night.

Elsewhere, a potential FG majority receives a loquacious and thoughtful endorsement from Sarah Carey in today’s Irish Times. Regardless of your opinion, it is a wonderfully manipulative piece of writing and I would be proud myself to pull off something of this calibre. It borders on evil genius, and I mean that as a compliment.

Simon, Sarah and a (Sanguine) Varadkar on yesterday’s Morning Ireland are clearly of the view that the remaining FG election campaign should be conducted like a Song of The Sirens. That’s enough alliteration for now. Stock up on yer beeswax.

Friday 18^th February 2011

FG’s website declares that unions, along with bankers, bondholders and developers, are the vested interests that have ruined the country. It’s a convenient bit of baiting the electorate, and it finally comes to light.

David Begg’s letter to Fine Gael was picked up by the Irish Examiner newspaper’s front page this morning. David was interviewed this morning on RTE’s Morning Ireland while Enda Kenny’s interview later in the programme saw the issue of ‘vested interests’ raised as the first question. Meanwhile, Seamus Dooley of the NUJ responds to Lucinda Creighton’s comments on the same issue earlier in the week in the Irish Times letters page here (10^th letter under ‘general election’).

As the general election enters its final week, much of the focus seems to be around the confrontations between Labour and Fine Gael on a whole range of issues, with the other parties increasingly pushed out to the margins.

But stuck in a far more vulnerable margin are the staff of the Davenport Hotel who’ve been removed from payroll for refusing to sign new contracts which would cut their rate of pay to the newly reduced minimum wage. Ministerial assurances during the Dail debate on reducing the minimum wage now exposed for the bunkum we knew it was.

My evening at home interrupted by a very rude FG canvasser who blames everything on social partnership. Not much intelligence, emotional or otherwise, on show, is this what to expect from an FG majority?

Suffering as I am from sleep deprivation today, courtesy of a very unsettled child last night, I am forced to conclude that my youngest son is less to blame for my cumulative sleep deprivation than Vincent Browne. For those of you heading to bed at a more reasonable hour, here’s a quick summary of his entire election coverage.